in the event of my untimely death
from crossfire in an attempted pre-election assassination, protest bombing or dysentery,
the following are my requests:
- destroy all my harddrives.
- everything in my apartment will be dispersed amongst friends, but mom and dad have first dibs.
please ship jack the 85mm f1.2 fat kid.
- since no one will oblige to snapping my dog’s neck and tossing him in the crematory with me,
please tell henri he’s the most handsome dog in the world
and that i love him more than any man that has ever entered my adult life.
- there will be no religious undertones at my funeral, no forlorn speeches and poetry readings either.
instead, i would prefer you share a funny story, “this one time veanne and i…”
please limit to three minutes. except for kim. she may have five.
and at the start of the procession, i would like this song to be played.