i get along with little boys

because i too can pick my nose and eat it.

my relatives from vietnam are staying with my family for a few months until they get on their toes.

because their children are new to the country,
they have not yet adapted to certain customs and manners
such as knocking before entering closed doors and
for example..

i don’t know about you, but when i wake up in the morning,
the first thing i do, even before wiping out my eye crusties,
is liberate the bladder.

so anyway,
i wake up this one morning and
doot-dee-doo i’m going to the bathroom and i sit down and
“EEEWWWWW!!!!!!”

the boys had peed all over the toilet seat.

and i look to my side..

now, the plumbing/sewage system in vietnam is sort of.. primitive
so the people there do not flush toilet paper down the toilet.
instead, they dispose them in wastebaskets.

and so i look to my side and there in the wastebasket,
were little pieces of toilet paper with poopie stains on them.

the children are no longer allowed to use my bathroom.

my uncle, a short, somewhat obnoxious man who talks and acts like he knows more than he really does,
is attempting to teach the children how to speak english.
the other day i found him arguing that “idiot” meant someone who was lazy.
“um, no. idiot means someone who is stupid.”
“no, it means someone who is lazy.”
“um, no. don’t argue with the native speaker.”

i noticed that all words in vietnamese are one syllable words.
therefore, if you ever hear a vietnamese person speak english,
you’ll notice that they might have trouble pronouncing words with consonant sounds side by side
[ie, wench would be pronounced “weng”]

anyway, my uncle taught the children “eh-kew mee.” [excuse me]
and this frustrated me.
so i decided to dedicate an hour everyday to tutoring the children in english
(since esl is no longer a department in their elementary school due to budget cuts).

this evening, the boys and i hung out in the dining room with pencils in our mouths,
repeating sounds rhythmically,
“eh! kah! eh! kah! eh. kah. sss. kah. ew! sss. mee.”

at the end of the hour, i had accomplished something somewhat small.
nontheless, it was a nice feeling. :)

the little troublemakers.

0404

currently listening to:

a great track
to groove to while geeking out on the computer. [from movement in still life]

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