me and this bottle

myspace tells me justin is married.
justin was my first boyfriend, high school sweetheart,
first love, first heartbreak.

it’s not that i should care,
but it’s weird to know that someone i used to think i was going to marry
has married someone else.
know what i mean?

and also, i’ve been drinking and it’s 3am so i’m all mooshy and shit.
and i’ve been thinking about how relationships weren’t always bad,
that maybe i should stop harboring all the bad memories and think about the good stuff.
at least that’s what this bottle of pisco is telling me.

so yeah, some of the good times:

• whenever i was mad at j., he’d do the craziest, retarded telly (from larry clark’s kids) impression.
and i’d laugh and not be mad anymore.

• on our first date, t. and i sat parked in my little miata until 4am, talking about music.

• c. was like, “i’m not gay, but if i could fuck a voice, it’d be bradley nowell’s.”
and i was like, “whoah. me too.”

• n. and i were drunk in the taxi coming back from charlie’s this one time
and he tells me he wants to marry me and i’m like, “for real?” and he goes, “yeah”
and then he ties a tiny piece of string to my finger.

• s. made my world spin whenever he kissed me.

• a. sadly, i cannot remember much about him except that this one time,
he hacked my calculator so i could ace my stats exam.

• v. surprised me by driving over late one evening and gave me the longest hug goodnight
because i had texted him, “i really miss you.”

• the first time he came to visit, b. brought cookies for my dad and lychees for my mom.
the cookies were soft because my dad has sensitive teeth. and my mom loves lychees.

• • • • •

sometimes, i unintentionally make things that reveal how i feel at that moment.
and i guess this is what loneliness looks like.


currently listening to:
monte reminded me of how wonderful this girl is.
as cheeky as she gets sometimes, the lyrics in this one track kill me.

littlest things

six months later

me: i don’t feel like compromising anymore
me : and i’m not giving you an ultimatum
him: yes you are
me: no i’m not
me: i’m saying i don’t want it anymore.

i have static, lukewarm relationships

because you can’t be disappointed by what you don’t invest much in.

from last night:


currently listening to:
my favorite jonny l track.


jeremy's birthday

bath house ruins.


like we ever pay attention..


so the rumor goes
the ruins are haunted….

currently listening to:
danny elfman is so very wonderful.

the ice dance


asundqui (1:12:20 AM): mylai mylai
asundqui (1:12:29 AM): sweet as cherry pie
asundqui (1:12:47 AM): so cute in my eye
asundqui (1:12:53 AM): yet barely even has to try


*slap* right back at ya babe!

saturday night, after “sky captain and the world of tomorrow”,
andreas and i rollerskated/bladed around stanford until 4am.
such a beautiful campus, but sort of creepy at night, especially in the rodin sculpture garden.


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sunday, party at the civic center.
it was great seeing you guys.. damn lushes. :)

brandon is muy silly.


more pics here.

currently listening to:
cheesy vocals over breakbeat,

the theme
to my sunday in the park.

ce matin avec andréas.



currently listening to:
one of the nicest ways to wake up in the morning
is to him playing the piano.

especially when it’s

this melody

mi sey fe lef' ya with ya bomb

saturday evening,
right as i reached the station, the train left. i am not kidding!
i stood there on the platform, thinking,
“damnit, if only i hadn’t brushed my teeth..” or “if only we had run that yellow light..”

joey: “if only you hadn’t wiped your ass.”

three hours until the next train so i caught up on homework and stuff.


andreas picked me up around 11pm
and we headed to the bubble lounge with the bomb burrito crew.
another typical saturday in sf.

sunday afternoon was spent on a park bench at the stanford campus,


reciting a monologue my mother had translated into vietnamese for me
[i had an audition that evening for kieu,
a modern film adaptation of a classic vietnamese novel]

don't stop.

my nickname beaner came from jeremy.
i, in turn, refer to him as mangohead.

» »»

jeremy shows me how to “take it all in.”
[notice his mango shaped head?]


up in the hills. some horrible photos.


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sometime this past weekend,
i was singing along to andreas playing “gus the theatre cat” on his piano
and i forgot the second verse so i started to improvise.
anyway, he finally caught on and said something like,
“wait a minute. you’re making up lyrics!”
and then gave me the most adorable smile..
there was something really sweet about the whole singing and playing piano moment
and i don’t know.. i totally have a crush on him now.

okay buh-bye

emotionally mangled best friends
learning that the only way to heal
is to let go,

and fetter the urge to break down
with distractions.

jeremy and i went to church.


god fearing christians or nazi germany?


the pastor’s car. how.. humble.


we went to ibiza with andreas and stacey..

getting ready.