happy birthday to me.

my friends are scattered around the world,
but i found a way for twenty of us to do something together for my birthday this year.

the request was simple.
1. blast wreckx-n-effect’s “rumpshaker”
2. hit record on the camera
3. dance
4. send me the footage

gin and vermouth and recycled stories

whenever i’m in san francisco,
i make an earnest effort to see best friends, old friends.

and then benjamin shows up at the dive
and i haven’t seen him since he was in law school six years ago
and now we’re both wearing matching leather jackets and scarves,
looking like we’d be brother/sister
and he says, “christ, do you fucking age?”
and i remember again how much of a crush i’ve always had on him.



currently listening to:
he introduced me to the two toms ten years ago. (pynchon & waits.)

warm beer and cold women

music, the better solution.

while in los angeles last week,
ben serenaded me with my favorite song at the brass monkey.


[the boy can actually sing. really well.]

this past weekend, christophe taught me a little ditty on the geetar.
i wish i could have mp3’d it so you guys could have a good laugh. :p


currently listening to:
ben sang this to me.

i want you to want me

jump in the line, rock your body.

last night,
joey’s birthday with twenty-five good friends at club 6,
i was back to an old destructive habit
that started last weekend after the bikini (turned naked) mud wrestling match.

i promise i will stop.

i woke up this afternoon wailing crying
so hard that my nose bled.
i dreamt we were holding hands and laughing again.
fuck you brain for playing tricks on me.

i promise i will stop.

because friday night,
jeremy and friends and i played scrabble
and i kicked their asses.
i don’t need to be hardcore.

i just have to keep reminding myself that even without him,
i am still scrabble master.

currently listening to:

ben kept playing this in the car to cheer me up

pushing squares

ben and i met up with a few of my good ol’ sf buddies for burritos..
then squarepusher at the mezzanine.

that i know of,
a squarepusher concert is the only place where you can hear
all genres of electronic music (and then some!) during one set.

i absolutely loved it..
but then the experimental ruckus and strobe lights
went on too long and
it soured my eardrums.
i was ready to go home.

» »»

my hands constantly shake.
i hate the intrusiveness of the flash
so images taken at clubs
usually end up being a big unidentifiable blob..
but sometimes, i like the outcome.

my two favorite photographs shot from tonight are of scott.



i didn’t want to post another concert crowd shot,
but i like how the texture in this photograph..
(taken during one of the strobe light sessions)
the people look like drawn/painted characters on the covers of
late 1970’s teenage mystery novels.

squarepusher plays the geetar.


neener neener

i cut class today.
ben and i casually raked through books and used records in santa cruz for a few hours.

currently listening to:

i was introduced to tom wait’s gravel saturated voice

ride with us

rick has gradually become my favorite person in the world.
he’s always down to party with me even if he has to get up at 7am the next day.
hardcore. we’re always laughing when we’re together.


last night we hit up nick’s jungle club and the red room.
OMG. i have never seen so many cute people packed into a bar before.
if you’re ever in santa cruz on a thursday night,
check out the red room.

also, i met a terribly cute boy named ben.

currently listening to:

dad used to dance around the house singing this