photo editors

it started off with charlie posting a link to
this russian wedding photoshop disasters gallery on julian’s facebook page.

and julian was like:


and so i was like:


and then this happened:


so i was like, “say UNCLE.”

i really don’t know how he can top that
(yes, those are all julian faces with the exception of elisa holding baby charlie),
but if he does, i might have to go animated gif on his ass.

tell me what you know about dreams, dreams.

if brandon and i ever had a kid, he would totally look like keanu reeves.

i hate that he lives in los angeles.

currently listening to:
we met through julian last summer when i was looking for a guitar instructor.
traded him a variety of ipas for lessons.

during our last lesson, i introduced him to the pixies’ “hey”
and he taught me how to play the riff.
that was when i realized i had a huge crush on him.
(though he admitted to me he wanted to kiss me the first time we met.)
but i had a boyfriend at the time and he was moving to los angeles the following week
so i remembered thinking, “well this kinda sucks” when we said goodbye.
it wasn’t until jamaica that things fell into place.

anyway, this past weekend he blasted “hey” in his bedroom,
spun me around and said,
“you know the song they always play at weddings for the first dance? this is ours.”

hey, been trying to meet you

all the djs do it, all the djs use it.

back in mid-september,
i spent a few days at my cousin’s house in san francisco
where i arrived crying, heartbroken,
where her husband baked me cookies,
where i pulled out her old disney piano book and spent all evening on her baby grand,
where they auspiciously convinced me that i would be okay.

i told suzanne i would miss her terribly and
she came up with this wonderful idea for how we could stay in touch.

each day, every other day,
we’d post a photo from our lives.

like when the sandwich maker at the deli drew a heart on my container box with a sharpie,
like at the l.e.s. french restaurant where i suddenly had a good day when the waiter called me “love”
as in “yes love, what can i get you love?”
and like when i got really sad because i was really hungry,
but then i dropped the noodles on frankie’s kitchen floor.


suzanne is on the left, i’m on the right.

currently listening to:
when i first got my license,
heather and i used to mob around san jose blasting this song


this was before i knew what falling felt like and before i became such an asshole.

saying goodbye

it was supposed to only be dinner,
but i didn’t end up leaving until the second afternoon.

totally broke down and cried on bart back to sf
because it finally hit me;
i still really love him.

but of course, you know how the story ends:
girl moves to new york.

but this one memory kept repeating in my head yesterday and today:
i was so nervous when my documentary premiered that i was shaking the whole time,
and that whole time, he held onto my hand really tightly.
when the credits rolled in and the audience started clapping,
he leaned over and whispered, “that’s my girl.”

doing cool shit just isn’t all that when you don’t have him by your side.

• • • • •

in lighter news,
general chang installed after effects on my laptop. i decided to learn how to use it
and made a 30-second promo the next day.
big grin when i saw it air during the crankygeeks commercial break.

i didn’t go crazy with layers and textures because i wanted to grasp the basics first.

currently listening to:
i do this weird thing where whenever i’m feeling like crap,
i’ll sing to myself,
stuff like


me and this bottle

myspace tells me justin is married.
justin was my first boyfriend, high school sweetheart,
first love, first heartbreak.

it’s not that i should care,
but it’s weird to know that someone i used to think i was going to marry
has married someone else.
know what i mean?

and also, i’ve been drinking and it’s 3am so i’m all mooshy and shit.
and i’ve been thinking about how relationships weren’t always bad,
that maybe i should stop harboring all the bad memories and think about the good stuff.
at least that’s what this bottle of pisco is telling me.

so yeah, some of the good times:

• whenever i was mad at j., he’d do the craziest, retarded telly (from larry clark’s kids) impression.
and i’d laugh and not be mad anymore.

• on our first date, t. and i sat parked in my little miata until 4am, talking about music.

• c. was like, “i’m not gay, but if i could fuck a voice, it’d be bradley nowell’s.”
and i was like, “whoah. me too.”

• n. and i were drunk in the taxi coming back from charlie’s this one time
and he tells me he wants to marry me and i’m like, “for real?” and he goes, “yeah”
and then he ties a tiny piece of string to my finger.

• s. made my world spin whenever he kissed me.

• a. sadly, i cannot remember much about him except that this one time,
he hacked my calculator so i could ace my stats exam.

• v. surprised me by driving over late one evening and gave me the longest hug goodnight
because i had texted him, “i really miss you.”

• the first time he came to visit, b. brought cookies for my dad and lychees for my mom.
the cookies were soft because my dad has sensitive teeth. and my mom loves lychees.

• • • • •

sometimes, i unintentionally make things that reveal how i feel at that moment.
and i guess this is what loneliness looks like.


currently listening to:
monte reminded me of how wonderful this girl is.
as cheeky as she gets sometimes, the lyrics in this one track kill me.

littlest things

big hands i know you're the one.

il m’a dit, “que veux-tu pour ton anniversaire?”
je lui ai repondu, “dessine-moi un mouton.”


with the exception of a quiet dinner at destino’s, i didn’t really celebrate my birthday.
it’s kind of difficult because i’m reminded that exactly one year ago, tedd passed away.
and yesterday i went to matt‘s funeral.
my heart broke when matt’s mom talked about how it’s not right
that a mother should ever have to bury her son.

• • • • •

if i should ever die an untimely death,
i only have three requests:

1. please don’t preach about christianity and salvation at my funeral.

2. please tell wonderful, funny memories you have of me, like,
“this one time, veanne and i were stuck in traffic in tahoe for six hours
and she made me stick my ass out the window to fart”
or whatever. you know what i mean.

3. when they carry my casket away, i want someone to bust out a boombox
and play something upbeat and irrelevant

blister in the sun

imac arrived!

and today i discovered photobooth.


konichiwa bitches!


i was suppose to finish my research paper an hour ago.
and now, an hour later,
i have about 100 pictures of myself making stupid faces in my photo booth gallery.

and still no paper.

and then brandon came home.


currently listening to:
one of my favorite drum&bass tracks ever.

the 1:52 drop is so damn sick

brandon is a huge dork,
a badass,
and the sweetest person you will ever meet.

he asked me what i wanted to do for our one year anniversary.
i asked him if he could teach me how to fly fish,
so we took a trip to del valle.


and caught a rainbow trout!


he got me this vintage shanghai poster from the 1930’s.


currently listening to:
happy anniversary baby <3


le weekend

although i love acting,
i’m not pursuing it as a career.
it’s just one of many hobbies, like taking pictures and playing records.
however, when a project comes along that fascinates me,
i try my best to be a part of it.

and other times, i just luck out.
i worked with felicia on the set of boxed up and superhero last month.
so when she asked me if i would be down to play a high school tomboy
for this short film she was directing, called detention, i was like, “oh hell yeah i’m down!”

carla, who plays one of my sisters.


saturday, cat, tom and i ran around the embarcadero singing and dancing
to the whole sound of music soundtrack.

we came up with this ingenious idea of gathering all of our friends
to remake that one scene where maria and the von trapp kids are running around town,
riding bikes, climbing trees, singing and dancing,
“do a deer a female deer. ray a drop of golden sun!”
how awesome would that be?!
a bunch of us in costumes made of flowery curtain fabric,
running around san francisco singing and dancing exactly like how they did in the movie!

muni bus whooshing by.


the little kid in front of me kept looking back at me, so i snapped a pic of him.


saturday night, josh’s birthday at the sold out kid koala show.
kid koala looks like. well. a kid.


mike relm. suffused in pink lighting.


[note infamous puppet sex scene from team america in the background]

i was trashed by the time i made it to club whisper for the evilbreaks/spacecowboy party.


brandon was so excited to see me that he grabbed my hand
and took me all around the club to introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend.
i thought it was incredibly cute.

currently listening to:
i’ve been listening to mike relm’s radio fryer all day. great, fun track selection.
everything from falco’s rock me amadeus to fur elise rmxed.
you all need to go to his site and get a copy. for real.

here’s a sample.

relm & josie

humbling experience.

the other weekend i shot socal’s wushu tournament.
it was my first time shooting an indoor sports event
and i did very badly.

but that’s the only way you get better;
you learn from your mistakes..
and you save up money to buy a better lens.

my best shot, which isn’t all that good.


brandon introduced me to this friendly man


and i noticed that little kids kept coming up to him, asking him for his autograph.
so i asked him, “are you like, some superstar wushu guy or something?”
and he goes, “i was in starwars. i played darth maul.”
and i go, “oh.. i haven’t seen that movie.”

brandon still keeps calling me a goober because
i’m the only person on this planet who has never seen any of the star wars movies,
well except for alida, but she’s a goober too.

my engrish goot!

brandon keeps calling me a fob because i keep saying, “shrimps.”
more than one shrimp = shrimps. right?

then i look on for the term
because conor doesn’t know what it means
and one of the definitions for fob was:
“When you speak English, you like to make everything plural.”

damnit. oh well, at least i’m not like danny. :)

vi: he always says upstair
vi: it’s like, dood it’s upstairs

no flowers or chocolate for valentine's

but i got fresh mochi balls. :D


and it was like the very last scene in sixteen candles,
except better because he cooked fresh crab and sushi.

currently listening to:
the roommates and i watched the wedding singer yesterday
and i got all teary-eyed when he sang to her on the plane.

i wanna grow old with you

i know now

not to judge something until i’ve understood its context and seen it as a whole.
the vagina monologues is not emotionally manipulative.
the words are real words said by real women.

i am very glad i took on the role
and i am so very grateful for being able to be a part of such a strong cast.

jesse in the dressing room.


christina in memory of her face.


“then t. then sharp certain tangy t!” charlie in reclaiming cunt.


“women would be coming on the subway. uuhhh!”
elizabeth gets me everytime with this line.


my performance-wise, friday night felt awkward.
brandon said, “it had the potential, it but wasn’t quite there.”
i felt like the weakest link.

saturday night felt good. really good.
i was still shaking from the monologue when i got back in my seat.
the old lady next to me with this huge, white afro said, “very good job.”

saturday night, i had the cast party at my house.
it’s so weird to see actors i admire and respect,
transform into crazy drunk college girls.


(christina and elizabeth)

i’m not one to gossip, so yeah, very fun night dancing around
in the kitchen and the chill room to old school madonna and beastie boys.

sunday, i felt partially responsible for the girls slipping on their lines.
i mean, i did feed them alcohol until 4am the previous night. :(

i didn’t do so well. distracted.
but this play has re-sparked my love for theatre.

currently listening to:
the girls went NUTS when i dropped

this record
at the cast party.

quick trip up north

we went to portland and seattle.
didn’t pull out my camera much.
there were times when i thought to myself, “oh this would look nice for a picture”,
but felt that i had already taken something like it before.



» »»

at the bookstore, i came across this memoirs of a geisha photo book and was all,
“omg! that’s me!” (circled in red)


i thought it was the funniest thing ever. :)

today is my first day off.

if you didn’t know me any better,
you’d think i was totally into furries.


i promised a few of you pictures from halloween weekend.

sorry for the long delay.
i’ve been really, really busy.

» »»

unless you’re filipino,
an avid disney movie watcher,
or a total broadway/london musical fanatic,
then most likely you’re not familiar with lea salonga,
but you should be because this woman has the most beautiful, powerful voice.

brandon’s mom runs an organization called a3m
and lea salonga was performing at one of their benefits
so we took a drive down to los angeles to see her.

i’m such a tard.
i wanted to tell her how amazing she was
and how i’ve been following her career for about fifteen years
and how i cried during one of her songs
and and..

but all i could muster up was,
“you’re so friggin’ cool.”


currently listening to:
you just have to listen to know what i’m talking about.


monterey and morro bay

the first part of our trip down the coast.



do you see him hiding?




sardines are funny when they open their mouths. maah!


if you’re ever in pismo beach, definitely check out the cracked crab.
great food, great fun dumped right on your table.


also, it was brought to my attention at the z-trip show that we look like brother/sister.
i think it’s because we’re always making the same silly faces.


tossed in a stylish “techno” bottle, but it still tastes like butt.


will update later with the real reason behind the trip.

» »»

a total of six hours on my knees last week at amoeba
digging through the used bins
paid off.


since stickman and brandon are gonna battle each other with the cheese like mc hammer
i’ve decided to play 80’s club hits from erasure, modern talking, new order, stacey q, etc. instead
at the halloween party on friday.

currently listening to:
brandon lent me a few of his old school records.
i almost pissed my pants when i heard this!

don’t stop the rock

pit stop

before lydia’s housewarming party in the lower haight.


brandon's surprise birthday party

i lied and told him we were meeting up with my uncle alee for dinner.

had to stall a little while until i got word that everyone arrived.


twenty or so of his friends showed up
and got him so shitfaced drunk that i had to carry him home (two very long blocks).

i really like leslie’s smile.


they kinda look the same..

so the girls are all jockin’ brandon’s brother..


but i think brandon is way more adorable.


maybe it’s because i have a thing for dorks.


last week [in pictures]

knob tweekin’ at the evil breaks beach party.


“the psytrance room smells like hippies.”


evil furballs on their spaceship plot to take over the earth.


li’s camera phone has a flash. dur. i did not know this.


roof dwellers at the haight street fair.


used bin at amoeba records


at the clothes swap,
we played a mean game of poker.


got really irie and watched vi and donna’s cable access tv show.
it was hella funny.


tag. you’re it.


hazy rocks.


apa’s favorite koi fish jumped out of the pond and committed suicide.
he’s been terribly depressed about it.
brandon suggested that we get him a new one for father’s day.


currently listening to:
i like hazy because they sing ridiculously silly songs about ridiculously silly things.

no more red meat