happy birthday to me.

my friends are scattered around the world,
but i found a way for twenty of us to do something together for my birthday this year.

the request was simple.
1. blast wreckx-n-effect’s “rumpshaker”
2. hit record on the camera
3. dance
4. send me the footage

the double life of v

back in january i took on an IT director position at a law firm.
rather than making things, i’m fixing, planning, talking and emailing.
this may seem like a less fulfilling endeavor,
but sometimes a girl needs stability in her life.

and once a week, i can expect a phone call from the boss to push me harder
even though “the weekend” doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.

josh came by to visit while i was the phone with him and took some candids capturing my uneasiness.

veanne cao

veanne cao

my office is super tiny


but i have a nice view that keeps me from suffocating after ten hours.


and in march, i hooked up kimmie with a job at the firm.
apparently someone thought it was a good idea to give her a key to my office.

(warm welcome post-it notes on my computer upon my return from los angeles.)

although i’ve passed on most of my freelance gigs,
i’m still working at mackler studios,
because if i didn’t shoot or edit or do anything artsy-fartsy,
i would be very depressed.


the mackler office has a drastically different vibe.
instead of brooks brothers, cottage cheese and distant murmurs of legal spiel,
we have portarock blasting on the speakers and some serious post-production ass kicking.

(me and mike, by julian.)

echo park, california

josh and i belong belonged in the kindred tribe of “artists”
who thrive off volatile romances to jolt, rouse, inspire, whatever you wanna call it,
our “art.”

but something happened since he left new york a year ago.


charming, sweet faith.


the hour ride to highland park gave us some time to catch up – that was nice.
he said he was a little jealous of my freedom,
which reminded me of a conversation rain and i had while driving through honolulu.
can’t remember his exact words, but it was something like,
“you know what we all got in common? me you phan tone neil? we all got commitment issues.
maybe that’s why we all hang out together like a bunch of retards.”

i’d like to think maybe i don’t. maybe i don’t wanna settle for a mediocre forever.

a sunny saturday (finally)

afternoon stroll through the neighborhood


with my two favorite rat catchers.


manhattan bridge from williamsburg bridge.


josh caught up with me on graham ave.


dumont burgers.
he tells me, “i just want something good.”
we all want something good,
just gotta sift through a whole lot of bs to get to it.

currently listening to:
something good kinda feels like the first thirty three seconds of al green.

no one like you


leaving for upstate in a few hours for labor day weekend.
wanted to leave you with two things that make me happy.

1. love

a simple, but beautiful video made by josh,
of ryan and his girlfriend,
that perfectly embodies being young, being in new york, being in love.

2. dogs

a cartoon made by gina
of rain’s shiba inus.


le weekend

although i love acting,
i’m not pursuing it as a career.
it’s just one of many hobbies, like taking pictures and playing records.
however, when a project comes along that fascinates me,
i try my best to be a part of it.

and other times, i just luck out.
i worked with felicia on the set of boxed up and superhero last month.
so when she asked me if i would be down to play a high school tomboy
for this short film she was directing, called detention, i was like, “oh hell yeah i’m down!”

carla, who plays one of my sisters.


saturday, cat, tom and i ran around the embarcadero singing and dancing
to the whole sound of music soundtrack.

we came up with this ingenious idea of gathering all of our friends
to remake that one scene where maria and the von trapp kids are running around town,
riding bikes, climbing trees, singing and dancing,
“do a deer a female deer. ray a drop of golden sun!”
how awesome would that be?!
a bunch of us in costumes made of flowery curtain fabric,
running around san francisco singing and dancing exactly like how they did in the movie!

muni bus whooshing by.


the little kid in front of me kept looking back at me, so i snapped a pic of him.


saturday night, josh’s birthday at the sold out kid koala show.
kid koala looks like. well. a kid.


mike relm. suffused in pink lighting.


[note infamous puppet sex scene from team america in the background]

i was trashed by the time i made it to club whisper for the evilbreaks/spacecowboy party.


brandon was so excited to see me that he grabbed my hand
and took me all around the club to introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend.
i thought it was incredibly cute.

currently listening to:
i’ve been listening to mike relm’s radio fryer all day. great, fun track selection.
everything from falco’s rock me amadeus to fur elise rmxed.
you all need to go to his site and get a copy. for real.

here’s a sample.

relm & josie

pass the courvoisier

becky threw a pimp & hoes dress up party last night
for us good ol’ suburban kids.

cary, narcus, josh.