there are only two people in the world with whom i trust my heart.
my big brother.
with his remote control flying shark, a gift from cousin calvin.
you cannot find a better man.
. . . . . .
mom. she’s being silly in this picture.
i got her the hooded coat for christmas.
her heartbreak hurts me more than any man i’ve ever loved.
i daydream about taking her to an island far away,
where we waddle our feet in the ocean
(since neither of us know how to swim),
climb trees and be insouciant, young girls again.
and also have internet so she can watch her korean dramas before going to bed.
josh and i belong belonged in the kindred tribe of “artists”
who thrive off volatile romances to jolt, rouse, inspire, whatever you wanna call it,
but something happened since he left new york a year ago.
charming, sweet faith.
the hour ride to highland park gave us some time to catch up – that was nice.
he said he was a little jealous of my freedom,
which reminded me of a conversation rain and i had while driving through honolulu.
can’t remember his exact words, but it was something like,
“you know what we all got in common? me you phan tone neil? we all got commitment issues.
maybe that’s why we all hang out together like a bunch of retards.”
i’d like to think maybe i don’t. maybe i don’t wanna settle for a mediocre forever.
cousins chanh, tc, suzanne and i grew up with the new kids on the block.
we spent our summers learning dance routines to “the right stuff”,
carefully crafting fan letters proclaiming our undying love and devotion,
and playing the hangin’ tough vhs ad nauseam until the magnetic tape would stretch
and the images would become static messes.
we were little girls madly in love for the first time,
the kind of love that never goes away.
i’m supposed to be in los angeles this summer,
so i called each cousin tonight and asked them (in a very serious tone)
“can you leave friday, july 1st open for me?”
when i explained i could snag us tickets to the knotb concert for that night,
their response was hysterical,
like tweeny boppers all over again.
one night of childhood bliss with three beautiful cousins,
it’s on like donkey kong!
masami is an amazingly compassionate, thoughtful director
who lets us play, explore, build and tell stories.
today she asked donal and i to share cute, romantic tidbits from our past with each other.
i couldn’t think of one, but masami was like,
“no wait! what about the story you told me about sending messages through your website?”
if you’re not familiar with 404 errors,
they’re basically “document not found” messages that pop up
when you go to pages that don’t exist on a website.
after an ex-boyfriend and i broke up,
he left me secret messages by going to pages on my website that didn’t exist, stuff like, www.mylai.com/this_is_really_sad_but_im_thinking_about_you_and_miss_you
and then that url would then show up in my 404 logs.
i don’t know what was nerdier,
that he sent me messages through 404,
or that i habitually checked my logs and found them.
so um.. i never found it to be romantic,
but i always thought it was pretty unique.