i know now

not to judge something until i’ve understood its context and seen it as a whole.
the vagina monologues is not emotionally manipulative.
the words are real words said by real women.

i am very glad i took on the role
and i am so very grateful for being able to be a part of such a strong cast.

jesse in the dressing room.


christina in memory of her face.


“then t. then sharp certain tangy t!” charlie in reclaiming cunt.


“women would be coming on the subway. uuhhh!”
elizabeth gets me everytime with this line.


my performance-wise, friday night felt awkward.
brandon said, “it had the potential, it but wasn’t quite there.”
i felt like the weakest link.

saturday night felt good. really good.
i was still shaking from the monologue when i got back in my seat.
the old lady next to me with this huge, white afro said, “very good job.”

saturday night, i had the cast party at my house.
it’s so weird to see actors i admire and respect,
transform into crazy drunk college girls.


(christina and elizabeth)

i’m not one to gossip, so yeah, very fun night dancing around
in the kitchen and the chill room to old school madonna and beastie boys.

sunday, i felt partially responsible for the girls slipping on their lines.
i mean, i did feed them alcohol until 4am the previous night. :(

i didn’t do so well. distracted.
but this play has re-sparked my love for theatre.

currently listening to:
the girls went NUTS when i dropped

this record
at the cast party.

fifteen hour days suck.

the poster (i didn’t design this):


rehearsals. “what does your vagina smell like?” “cheese.”


p.s. i’m the total downer of the show.
they talk about orgasms, moaning, hot lesbian sex and reclaiming the word “cunt”,
and i get to talk about rape and vaginal mutilation.

currently listening to:
mikey (megatron) told me to check her out,
that she was blowing up the grime scene.
i like her quirky style and mad skills.

adidas hoodie

final project for intro to video

my professor said it lacked substance,
but that didn’t really bother me because
i have consistently proven to her all semester
that i was capable of producing solid academic work.
and because sometimes it’s nice to make things purely for entertainment purposes.

i had mad fun shooting and editing the footage.

1. i’m unfamiliar with wushu forms and those athletes move so friggin’ fast
so my arms were sore by the end of the night from constantly moving the camera around,
trying to keep them in the frame.

2. sorting through two hours of footage to find movements that matched the song was quite time consuming.

» »»

tonight, i went to the first vagina monologues meeting to decide whether or not i wanted to be a part of it
and i had a change of heart.

the enthusiasm among all the women, the camaraderie..
makes me believe that whether or not you’ll like the play,
it will be a great production.

pussy power

while leaving the media lab last tuesday,
i came across a flyer for “the vagina monologues” auditions.
i needed a good distraction from all the studying i’d been doing for finals
so i decided to stop by the theatre on my way home.

for one reason: i haven’t been on stage for years and i really miss that feeling of being, breathing on stage.
i read the coochi snorcher monologue because it was the most difficult of the four provided.
i mean, seriously, try saying, “he stuck his big hard penis in my coochi snorcher” without laughing.

anyway, i didn’t bother showing up to the call-backs
because prior to the auditions,
i wasn’t familiar with the “play” except for that it had stirred up some feminist controversy,
but after reading the four monologues,
i came to the conclusion that it was tacky, abrasive and purposely, emotionally manipulative.
i did not want to be a part of that.

last night, the producer left me a voicemail saying she was disappointed
that i didn’t show up to the call-backs and wanted to offer me the role of “my vagina was my village”,
which is essentially about a kosovo woman who was raped and tortured by soldiers.
it’s a challenging part. if not done well, i’d look like a fool on stage.

now i’m wondering..
should i decline the offer because i dislike the context of the play?
or should i take the role?
and rock it. hard.